You're the fire which I could never own
by Azusa-Yume
Summary: Green x Red, Game verse  Mount silver blahh  After Red fled into mount silver, Green went on a hectic search for him. Warnings: Shounen ai


**Green x Red, game verse.**

**Warnings: Shounen ai.**

**:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..**

"We'll be friends forever right?"

Those childish promises never meant a thing, because as they grew, jealousy and rivalry replaced the once pure and callow them.

"Of course we will."

The sweet innocent adoration they had for each other was easily displaced, because time will wash away childishness, and as soon as adolescence kicks in, Green had grew accustomed to the word, "Envy. "Because Red was better than him in every aspect (except for popularity wise).

As they get older, Green was no longer the naïve amicable child that was once Red's best friend. Due to influence, he turned into a stubborn, vulgar and bitter teenager; he along with some other kids would often bully red, shoving him down and calling him names while beating him up…

"Loser, lowlife, freak show…"

He'll sprout sorts of mean stuff, and all Red'll do was silently watch his tormentors in agonizing tears. And when they're done with him, they'll leave Red bloody and battered and shivering in the muddy soil.

Guilt never applied to him then, in fact, Green felt accomplished and joyous, like as if he has done a good deed, saving the rest of the word from that monster. He never spares a thought for the hurt and betrays Red was going through.

He was a terrible friend.

And on the day where Red finally started his Pokémon journey, Green was there, not to encourage and congratulate him as a senior, but to mock and taunt the fragile boy that he'll never make it. "You dumbass and your dumb looking Pikachu, I hope you'll get eaten up by wild Drapion." Green clearly remembers that lame insult he used. Clearly remembers the crystallized eyes sparkling with grief and anguish. But from that day on, he has never seen another tear shed from Red.

Each time they've met along the way, Green would still disparage him, what differs was that instead of mournfulness, it was resolve and determination burning in Red's vermilion pupils, Red would then smirk at him and mutter, "Lets battle."

And Green fucking lost every turn. Of course, that had only encouraged revulsion, deepening his hatred for Red. Finally, there was once, he couldn't tolerate any longer, wanting to get that smug expression off Red's face, Green punched him, firm and hard, leaving a unmistakable blue black on Red's fair, pale skin.

Red fell onto the floor, his hand covering the injured cheek, Green approached only to kick him again, but unlike young; where Red would only sit and cry, he mumbled, "Thunderbolt." with little hesitancy.

Green found himself waking up in the hospital with Eevee's concerned stare. After that, he had never seen Red again, until that very fateful day at the championships, when he had finally defeated elite four and made it on top, just when Green thought that it was all over and finally surpassed everyone and everything in the world, Red just had to show up at that very moment, ruining his glamour.

Through that hazy half lidded eyes, Red grinned at him, it was an almost malicious grin, and muttering only two familiar words, "Let's battle." Was all he had to say to Green. From that moment, Green finally noticed, he wasn't the only one that has changed, and Red was no longer that weakling he knew, the person before him was a much terrifying creature.

Green lost, again, he didn't exit the battle field safely either, not without suffering a third degree burn from Charizard. A terrible scar was left behind on his abdomen, a wound to remind him of vengeance and loathing. His hatred for Red could almost reach a point of sinking and bathing him in insanity. That fond childhood they had playing together, seemed like a farfetched fantasy, the thought of that very boy was enough to bring nausea and disgust to Green, to think that he used to be Red's best friend. What a joke.

Then, unpredictable like the wind, Green received news that Red had disappeared into Mount silver, and just when he was eagerly itching for revenge too, how could Red run away without paying for all his deeds?

For the scar on his belly, Red shall repent with his life. Or so Green thought.

Thus, Green set out to mount silver on a hectic search for his long lost 'friend' but was returned with fruitlessness and wasted efforts for three whole years. It was of no avail, Red could be dead for all possibilities.

During that three years, that heavy burden in his heart was somewhat lightened. Green managed to reflect of what terrible things he had done to Red in the past. Maybe this was his well-deserved retribution, but convincing himself otherwise once again, that he would not let his pride get trampled upon, he wasn't so weak to forbid his own promise.

Green will slaughter Red with his bare hands, drenching his fingers in sticky crimson blood, letting all that accumulated sin flow away, together with Red's livelihood.

Also, in Red's absence, Green got hooked up to drinking and smoking. All that stress had to be release somehow. He grew a lot taller too and was already considered a young adult, at the age of eighteen. But on the inside, he was rotting from the core, everything he's doing seemed meaningless, yet he couldn't persuade himself so, because if that's the case, then what will he live for?

He will find Red, he swore to find red. And even if he's dead, Green will dig the yards for his corpse.

Unknowingly, he had become so attached to the word, "Red, red, red." That very word that tainted his guilelessness ebony black, that very word that drove him into evolving Eevee into Umbreon despite her refusal and unwillingness. Just like many other things, Eevee was no longer a cute and cuddly companion, after advancing into Umbreon, she turned cold and selfish and lazy, unwilling to stay out of her pokeball for no more than two hours.

Green has yet lost another friend, and as usual, he blames his unfortunate on Red. It was all fucking Red's fault…

After another day of pointless searching, Green went back to the local pub which he frequent located at the bottom of the mountain.

"No luck?" the bartender asked.

With a sigh, Green shook his head as he lighted up cigarette and took a long deep puff. The choking smoke travelling down his gullet brought warmth to his freezing stomach. The weather was exceptionally cold today; to top it off, a hail storm will be approaching.

"I'm sorry for being nosy, but I've being wanting to ask for a while now, how exactly is this 'Red' person related to you?" The bartender questioned as he passed Green a tiny elegant glass of scarlet cocktail.

On that moment, Green was dumbfounded for words, yes, it's a question he can't answer himself either, how exactly is red related to him? He has being convincing himself that he's doing all this for revenge, has being, and trying too, but as time goes by, this hostility was soothed by the similar happy memories of Red… He was such a contradicting factor.

Saving Green from answering the bartender's incessant questionings, he overheard the conversation of two other customers.

"Hey, do you know, someone collapsed outside mount silver cave!"

"You kidding? That's bad… Shouldn't someone go and help him?"

With that, Green grabbed his jacket and rushed out of the bar riding on Arcanine to the destined location, dumping his half-finished cigarette into the ash tray. Could it be? After three fucking years? He was so close to finding out. And somewhere in a secluded dark corner of his heart, he was secretly wishing that Red was still alive.

The arctic breeze scaled across his face, stinging his eyes in its unforgiving chilliness, but Green did not stop, instead was repetitiously shouting for Arcanine to run faster. From a distance, he could see an uneven bump in the frozen white snow, as his approach to that collapsed body neared; Green could feel adrenaline surging intensely in his blood as his heart started beating wildly, almost as if three years back. It was a feeling akin to excitement, rather than vengefulness.

Hopping off Arcanine, Green wearily walked towards the heap; he could see him, the object of his frantic search, of his stupidity, relentless and abhorrence. Red was lying there, helpless and passed out, Green couldn't be mistaken, it was the Red that he was so drop dead familiar with. His raven coloured hair, his unmistakable cardinal cap and jacket and a pokeball with a single lightning was clutched tight in his fists.

Red…Red…Red...Red… The colours of insanity, of blood, crime, gore, chaos, havoc, destruction and fire…

Red, Green finally fucking found him. After three fucking years, and he's going to be such a vulnerable target too… As Green pulled out a fruit knife from his jeans pocket, he kneeled beside his once best friend, with the sharpened blade between his fingers; he lifts it up and prepares to plunge it into that delicate, delicate beautiful skin.

On the count of three… Green told himself, ignoring the terrified whimpers of Arcanine.

"Three"

"Two"

…

"ONE!"

Green jerked his hand, and swings it towards the source of gravity, but just inches before scratching that flawless skin, he stopped. He fucking can't do it, can't, can't, can't. Looking at Red's current pathetic state reminded Green of Red's depressing childhood. And the cause of it was Green himself too, he was Red's tormentor, he was Red's melancholy and distress, he was the reason why Red was who he was today.

Shivering under the cold, Red's lips were pale and colourless; his already frail build had seemed even feebler. All this was so god damned familiar to Green, Red's beaten and bruised body, just akin to young… When he and the other kids gang up to bash up the neighbourhood freak (Red), just because he's a little introvert.

Suddenly, all those years of resentment felt as if they dissolved into remorse. He was the one in debt to Red… The poor boy, whose only friend was Green, was betrayed cruelly because of Green's self-centeredness.

Red, was also the colour of love and good will.

Hesitating about what to do, he couldn't leave Red here, there'll be a tremendous hail soon, and so if he left him here, Red'll freeze to death. But wasn't Red's death what Green had wanted? As dark clouds drew in, Green knew that he doesn't have much time to consider. Finally, under Arcanine's pleadings and nudging, he brought Red back to the inn, where Green was staying at currently.

Green wondered if it was the right decision. After all, his heart was going against his pride.

:..:..:...

...

...

Setting an unconscious Red on his bed, noticing how his clothes were drenched from the melted snow, Green decided that that couldn't do, peeling of the soaking wet fabric revealing Red's bruised skin, filled with old scars and new injuries. Fresh blood dripping with allure, oozing out of the recently made wounds, Red was in a mess, he hadn't any knowledge to take care of himself.

Green couldn't help but to sigh at his currently powerless friend, it had being so long when things were so tranquil between them. There was a stir in his stomach, not of irritancy; it was rather like the feeling of pity, but it was pleasant.

Using a warm towel to cleanse Red's wounds, looking at him flinch each time Green applied more strength, it was entertaining, was almost fun to hurt him like this, but just by a little though. After bandaging his wounds, Green brought out a fresh set of clothes and fit it on Red. As expected, his clothes were slightly oversized for him.

Red had really bony shoulders and slender waist, almost to a point where one will consider as 'sexy', but once again, Red is a guy, so being called beautiful isn't really a compliment. And of course, Green's already diminutive one room hotel seemed additionally crowded with another person lying on his bed. Tonight, Green'll have to sleep on the couch, or seemingly so.

After tucking Red into bed, Green lighted his cigarette and exited to the balcony. Greeted by an unwelcoming frosty breeze that sends shudders down his spine and goose pimples on his arms, Green gazed at the cleared starry sky, just as if his heart, the clouds ostensibly has being removed. Because finding Red made everything seemed neglected and forgotten. Or was this simply the calm before the storm?

Just before Green was going to take another puff, he felt a pair of freezing hands snatching his cigarette away.

"Red, what the fuck? What are you doing out of bed…"

And just before Green manages to finish his sentence, Red took a deep inhale from the whitish stick, and then broke out in coughs, clutching his chest as Red dropped the cigarette on the floor. "It's horrible…" He said, as his slightly watered eyes matched with Green's.

Stripping off his jacket and wrapped it around Red, "Yah, are you a moron? You're half dead for Pete's sake, doesn't mean that if I smoke, you'll have to try too!" Green snapped, attempting to push Red back into the room, away from the merciless wind.

But Red refused to budge, "Why?" He gently murmured.

"Huh?"

"Why?" Red repeated, "Why did you save me... you hated me don't you?" Red questioned, calm and monotonously, but his eyes were deep and insecure, demanding for an answer. Green couldn't simply ignore that and brush it off.

"Because…"Green hesitated, it wasn't on purpose though because he really was soul searching for a decent reply… Yes, why did Green save Red? "Because…"He repeated, but the respond was never made since Red had just collapsed, exhausted and panting, slinging off Green's shoulders.

Red was really warm, no in fact, feverishly hot, because that idiot had really caught a cold. Upon depositing him on the bed, Green was about to fetch the thermometer, but Red gripped hold of his wrist, "Stay…"Red requested as he struggled with the single syllabary, voicing it in a small weak tone breathlessly.

"Hey, let go!"

But Red only held on tighter, "Don't go." He voiced slightly demandingly this time. Green sighed as he crawled into bed, "You're acting like a kid!" he grumbled, but he wasn't exactly complaining, he doesn't dislike it either. Just that all of this was so nostalgic.

"Idiot…"Green gently muttered as he inched closer to Red, hugging him tightly. Feeling Red's rasping ragged breaths against his chest, which soon falls and calms into a slow peaceful momentum. The faint familiar mellow scent that always reminded Green of milk powder still lingered on Red, the similarities that he was so accustomed to; this frail and brittle frame, the emotionally flat yet dependent young boy had matured into a fine and exquisite creation, a creation that Green could never blemish.

Love; a seemingly harmless emotion, almost childlike, yet was also the most treacherous and sinister. Green didn't know what to think anymore, it was as if Red was the reset button of his entire being. Because somewhere deep inside, he might already have fallen hopelessly in love with that very creation, it wasn't hate that drove him into derangement, it was fondness. And the next thing he knew, the rising sun was stinging his eyes.

And Red was gone.

But that was a tad bit too early to decide as when he turned around, Green was almost creeped out when he realize two scarlet red orbs had being staring at him, standing at the edge of his mattress, clothe in his shirt and jacket.

Rolling dramatically out of bed, "What the fuck? Is it natural for you to be scaring the shit out of someone that had just saved your pathetic life?" Green snapped at him.

But Red just watched him reticently with those soulless blood shade eyes. Green was already getting irritated.

"What, you're not ganna talk? Cat got your tongue or something?" Green paused and waited for a response, nevertheless, Red just approached him silently and wordlessly.

"Did the cold damage your brain? Could you not comprehend me? Say something you moro..n…"

It wasn't until Red pressed his lips against Green's before Green could fully apprehended that he had just being kissed. He wanted to push Red away, but his arms deprived him the will and energy to do so, because his body just accepted it so voluntarily. All he could do was grasp hold of Red and pull him closer.

Why, why, why? Why wasn't Green resisting? It was Red for god's sake. Yet why was he so willing to run his fingers through Red's dishevelled hair, so willing to suck and bite into his lip drawing the sweetened metallic blood. So willing to encircle that tongue with his own, that person was fucking Red, his rival.

Yet, there was no sense of nausea, just streams of thrill running shivers down his spine, why wasn't Green disgusted by all of this? Why wasn't he disgusted by the boy that has always being better than him, that cocky, cocky weakling, which he shoved around in their juvenile days; the boy that he was kissing with such agonizing passion?

Red soon became breathless and rasping; his fever has retreated, but was not completely gone, it was then, Green pushed him away, he wanted to yell at him for violating his personal space, but couldn't as Red glared at him helplessly innocent.

And there was only one word left for him to say,

"Moron…"

Followed by a reluctant, "Why did you kiss me?"

Red looked at him wearily, and then with a subtle smile, "Why did you return it?" He redirected in a light purr before leaning into Green's chest, clasping on his shirt for support, restoring his breath. Green couldn't help but to laugh at himself silently and pathetically, yes, why did he return it? This was ridiculous; he was ridiculous, just the day before he was all so ready to slaughter Red and now, he's acting love - dovey with the exact being that he had wanted to kill.

Then, Green felt cold fingers tracing his abdomen, sending unnerving trembles to his brain, he was about to snap at Red again, until Red interrupted with a subdued whisper, "I'm sorry." Running his fingers at the edges of the terrible burn scar, Green winced at the touch because the skin had being made sensitive due to the injury. He wanted to command Red to stop, but Red pushed him down, "Don't you hate me?" He inquired again, well perceived that this wound was made by him.

Losing all interest to rebel, Green simply smirked and commented, "You're awfully chatty today aren't you?" Then, hauled Red down with him from his originally sitting position, lying on the carpeted floor, Red initially struggled slightly, but soon gave in due to the lack of strength and reclined on Green.

All of this seemed so god damned laughable, because Green doesn't hate this intimacy, what's left was an awkward blend between tranquil and dolefulness. Why was he so apprehensive? It was almost painful to know that Red'll disappear again, that Red had never being his to keep.

Green loved him, Green hated him, but right Green couldn't comprehend a single shit, it was just an endless swirl of heartache. His chest hurts.

Green really likes the way Red feels, he was soft and warm and cuddly, that familiarity was almost deceiving, as if entering a hallucinatory, a trance because Green was fond of this cordialness, this sinister, sinister cordialness which would captivate his soul for years, and years to come.

Vengeance was nothing but a lame excuse to search for Red.

He had loved him.

And he still loves him.

"Stay with me…" Green requested, whispering into Red's ear.

:..:..:...

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..

As dawn broke the next day, Green woke up to a tiny piece of note folded neatly on the table, written in a sophisticated cursive was two small words within his recognition.

"I'm sorry…"

His vision hazed and blurred, wetness soon trace down his cheeks and splashed a little puddle on the paper. It hurts, it hurts so much… And all Green could do was to cry into his pillow, as if a little girl embracing the sadness. Red's scent faintly lingers off; that bewitching sweet redolence that reminded Green the pain of wistfulness.

But, Red was never his to keep…Red was like the solitary ablaze fire crackling with glory... The striking glimmer that lights up the darkest nights. And it was simply the desirous thinking of egoistic humans to own the fire, and Green of course with no exception, was never meant to grasp hold of it.

* * *

><p>Disclaimer: I don't own pokemon. .<p>

This is my first attempt too, and yes, I'm using their in game characteristics (Hopefully it didn't go out of point. ) Anywho, please R&R and enjoy~~ 3

** If the response is good enough, I'll do a happy ending. :3 **

if not it'll be left alone or **removed **(depending on how horrible the response was. . I'm sorry, but I have little faith in my stories so some of them gets wiped from the surface of earth. :( )


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